If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize