And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
