I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
