Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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