Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
