I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
