let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
