So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
