belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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