She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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