so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
