im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
