she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
