you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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