how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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