Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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