It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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