I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
