why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
