He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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