My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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