I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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