i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
