I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
