Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
