Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
