good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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