Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
