Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
