I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
