im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
