Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
