Please, let me fuck your mom
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
