He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
