The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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