this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I stole a fireplace last night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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