Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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