my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
