Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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