Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
