there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
