The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
