I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
home. puking in laundry basket.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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