that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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