Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So vagazzling was a success
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
