We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
