she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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