There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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