So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
