i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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