Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
