why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
