Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
