"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
