I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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