A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
