Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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