last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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