Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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