Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hippo gnu deer
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
