So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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