508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
