so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
