I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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