i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
