are you so shy because you have an std?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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