3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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