"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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