I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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