Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
