mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
