My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
