Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So vagazzling was a success
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
